Late night rant

Tonight I am tired of pretending that everything is okay. Tired of feeling as though I am only pretending to be strong. Tired of feeling as though I am only putting on a brave face and living life as though nothing is wrong. Tired of the constant falling down only to quickly pick myself up before someone notices I've fallen. Maybe all of this comes from pride?

Tired of constantly feeling as though there is a struggle with religion. Tired of trying to figure out right from wrong. Tired of the division among people. The fighting and trying to please others. Tired of living in a broken world riddled with such rampant raging sin where society not only allows such immoralities but broadcasts them across the television, the radios and the internet. Tired of standing out by being different and feeling alone in proclaiming the risen lord of all.

Sometimes when I experience complete joy, I pray the Lord takes me from this earth before I fall prey to sin and offend Him again and again and again... I long to be right with God. I want to ultimately reach heaven. I want to believe. I want faith. I want hope. I want life everlasting. But more then I want it for myself, God wants it for me. So much more then I want it.... He wants it for all of us. amen.