Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A little bit stronger

They say that time heals the heart. They say it gets better with time.

Does it really “get better” or are we just learning how to cope and move on with what the new reality is?

It will never be “okay.” Nothing will ever resume per usual. There is an emptiness. A hole. A gigantic, gaping, open fresh wound. A wound that no matter how much time passes by, it won’t ever heal.

We learn how to be happy. We learn that we can keep pressing on. But then something happens. Everything we worked so hard to overcome. Everything we worked so hard to tell ourselves is the past … it all resurfaces in one fell swoop. Back to square one. Back to the long nights of crying  to sleep. Back to longing for what once was, but won’t ever be again.

We hope. We dream. We cling to the precious memories and special moments. But we are broken. There is a piece of us that won’t ever be normal again.

We pick ourselves up and know we must carry on. Not for the sake of others, but for our own sake. We can be strong for ourselves and be a pillar for others who are currently going through what no one would ever wish upon anyone else.

While the circumstances vary and not one situation is the same, we are all united by a common bond. A common thread. We all share in each other’s pain, sorrow and grief.

While it may never “get better,” there does come a point when it stops consuming our every thought. When it stops motivating our every action. When we can carry on with the tasks of the day a little stronger. Slowly at first. But stronger none the less. This doesn’t mean we have forgotten. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel. This doesn’t mean we can’t break down and feel the feels of the moment. All this means is that we are human. Beautifully human.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Painting and Life

Over the past month, I have taken on the wonderful task of checking "paint chevron stripes in my bedroom" off the 2014 bucket list.

It was a learning experience.

Here are my thoughts:

- Have a plan. But realize that things don't always go as planned. Be prepared for this.
- Sometimes the most beautiful things take time. Lots of time and patience. And persistence.  As well as perseverance.
- People have my best interest in mind, but just because they view it one way, doesn't mean my way is null or void. We are free to feel and express as we do. And I can take my own advice.
- Focus on the task at hand. Don't try to do 3 or 4 or 5 different things to the same thing at once. One task at a time is enough.
- The final result is never the final result. There is always more that can be done.
- Invest everything in it.
- Love what it is, and not what it "could" or "should" be.
- Mistakes happen. We can only draw the lines so lightly and use so much tape.
- There is no such thing as perfection.
- No matter how many times I try to make it smooth and flawless, there will remain a distinct line between two differences. Realize this adds to the beauty.
- It is one of a kind. It doesn't have to be like everything or anything else.
- There is almost always an easier way of doing it.
- Express joy. Find joy. Live joyfully.

Believe

Trust. Faith. Hope. Wait on the Lord ... the one who can fulfill every hope, dream and promise.