Appreciate the small things in life ...

It is the small things in life that make me stand completely still, standing in the presence of God. It is the big things, that have often been dreamed about, only dreamed about, and then actually happen just so, as they were meant to happen.

I just moved in with my dad 3 weeks and 2 days ago. Sometimes it seems as though our priorities are messed up, but then I realize that God is directing our every move. We do not have a dining room table ... yet. We talk about it, and try to sort out things of importance and whatnot. Then we talk about how we want a patio set to go our the rather large deck of ours ... seeing that the grill is the only occupant, which has recently been socializing with the two tomato plants. Today, when we stopped into meijer, sitting before us was a patio set, that was on clearance. I knew that clearance time was fast approaching, and we were waiting for that. So seeing this, and seeing that there was one left of the set, we bought the furniture. So, while we are still without a dining room set, we finally have a place to sit! And me, loving the beauty of outdoors, sees God's hand in this! Until we are organized, a dining room table will be majorly in the way.



So many small things in life, that are to often taken for granted. Tonight, after another day of running around, my dad and I finally sat down to relax for a quick moment. Getting back up to go back to work, the power flickered then went completely out. It dawned on me just how much everything is okay, when relying on God! There was no fretting or worrying or anything of the such. I pick up my book (the will of God as a way of life), my notebook, and headed outside. As I sat outside, reading, writing, enjoy the evening, our neighbor came over, tools in hand, to help my dad put in our mailbox. He has been so kind and generous since the night we moved in. His wife and daughter came over and we got to meet them. Wonderfully, sweet family. My dad and I have been trying to get into a habit of walking around the sub-division every night. So we went around once, and I asked if he was game for another round. He agreed, and as we continued a second time, I asked him if it would help to call the power company. The power had been out for almost an hour and a half by now, and I said that maybe they would have an estimated time the power would go back on. He pulled out his phone and called. The recording on the other end said that they had not been informed of a power outage, but would look into it. By the time we were another half mile around, the lights went on in the neighbors houses. Thank God for the small blessings that often get overlooked. So we made our dinner, and sat down to watch a little tv. The next door neighbor was setting off fireworks, and the children were all outside across the street screaming every time the fireworks boomed in the air. Put smiles on both my dad and my face every time we heard the carefree, childish screams of joy and innocence. So sweet!

It is the little things in life that set my heart aflame, and truly mean the most to me. <3
Thank God that I recognize this.

God Bless everyone who passes upon my blog. Amen.

Old Shoes

 I have this pair of shoes. I have not had them more then 8 months. They have so many miles on them, and many holes in them. They are my favorite shoes: KEEN brand made from recycled materials, size 10, off white laces. I remember when I got them, two pairs of laces came with them, and I worried for the day that would come when I would have to change the off white laces, which I liked so much, to the blue-grey laces. Little did I know that the shoes would go well before the laces. The shoes have three layers. After nearly 8 months of constant wearing them, not only has the inside material been worn off, but the plastic rubbery material has also been worn through. I am now to the outer layer, which little by little, day after day, is slowly starting to fray. I have been in need of new shoes for quite some time now. Why, do you ask, have I not gotten new ones? Well, it is like this. Think of the shoe as a habit; a familiar habit. One that is repeated day in and day out. It doesn’t have to be a bad one, but one that you might like to get rid of, but it still serves you. Sometimes it is hard letting go of old habits, especially when there is not a new one to replace the old one with. I could easily throw my shoes in the trash today; but then I am stuck without shoes until I order new ones. I could also order new shoes tonight and have them the middle of next week. Or, I could have already bought new shoes by now, but have not. Again, think of that habit. Is it hurting anyone? It might be hurting you. Just like my shoes, which have worn out heels. They can’t hurt anyone but myself, because they could easily lead to raw and blistered heels. Again, why haven’t I bought new ones? Because I have not decided what I am going to replace them with. I would go with the exact same brand, color and size, but that is just as replacing a habit with the same habit, only changing the time of day that the habit is routinely preformed. Change can be a scary thing. No matter how big or small; even if it comes down to the style of shoes. What if I don’t like my new selection? What if … what if … what if … Enough with the “what ifs.” Sometimes we just need to do what we know is best for ourselves. My shoes are serving me well right now. They could hurt me, but haven’t. Would I benefit from new shoes? Sure, after I break them in. New shoes could cause more pain to break in, then the possibility of the old ones hurting me. Stop with the excuses already. When the time is right for new shoes, I will know, even if I get hurt in the process. Just as a habit. Is it time to replace the old with a new one? One will know when the time is ready.  

There is Something about a Rose

There is beauty in everything. I was out taking picture on December 29, 2010. I cam across a rosebush that still had roses on it. The rose bush was a great metaphor of how we are all connected, but are unique and special individuals. We have our own talents, and share them with the world. The harsh weather is like what others say and do that hurts us, whether intention or not. We put on a brave face, pretending we are not hurt until we can no longer take it. After we "go dormant" and deal with our feelings, we are ready to shed that layer and let our new, stronger self through. Holding the rose is like holding one's self; taking care and nurturing. Also it can be as though holding a mirror and looking at one's reflection. 

There is Something about a Rose

There is something about a rose that makes it so intriguing.

It brings wonder to the mind, and comfort to the heart.

Each blossom, each petal, so exquisitely crafted,

So bold and so beautiful, individual pieces of art.

All blossoms, all buds, joined together at the root,

One plant, one connection, all these flowers from one.

Sharing with each other, the nutrients from the soil,

Sharing their beauty and splendor with everyone to come.

After a long summer show of brilliantly displayed blossoms,

The rose petals curl and crinkle, becoming quite dry.

The main plant goes dormant, waiting to bloom in the spring,

But some of the blossoms, are too stubborn to die.

They stick out the winter, fully in bloom,

Too courageous, too proud, to submit to the cold.

Remaining radiant, retaining its shape,

The rose bears the frost, ever so bold.

As the year is almost over, and the snow already come,

A once red rose, is starting to turn black.

The ice and the snow, are taking its toll,

The rose realizes now, that it cannot turn back.

What is done is done, it is what it is,

The rose can no longer withstand any more

Despite the summer radiance that has come and gone,

The ever so beautiful rose is almost prettier then it was before.

Until the next year comes, and the rose is in full bloom,

Preserved by Mother Nature, the rose’s story remains untold,

The joy, the excitement, the beauty it will bring,

There is something about a rose… that I want to forever hold.

The Eye-Opening Journey

This poem was written later in the year 2010. I had realized that no one can fight my fight for me. That if I keep on moving along, I will be able to follow my dreams and accomplish big things. It is about letting go, and believing in self. Again, stay positive, and grace is there to guide me along. It is clear to me now, that by no means am I alone, though physically, I am.

The Eye-Opening Journey

This journey I am on,

I am to travel alone,

And follow my own path,

To discover the unknown.

My future is carved,

By each new step I take.

Each choice to move forwards or backwards,

Is deciding my fate.

Over snow capped mountain,

And under frozen water,

My journey is not get easier,

But constantly harder.

Up hill and down hill,

Across arid land,

I do not say I can’t do this,

But instead that I can.

The weather all around me changes,

From good to bad,

But I persevere,

For the end result is mine to be had.

As I look down,

Chaos is all scattered around.

Everyone’s excess baggage,

Is everywhere to be found.

I add to this graveyard,

Of baggage unwanted,

And progress even faster,

As my load has been lightened.

As I ascend higher,

And my travels get tough,

Sometimes I get discouraged,

Because I think I have had enough.

But thoughts are not reality,

Just my mind playing with me.

I sort through this feeling,

And the truth I can now see.

I will no longer live,

In darkness and fear.

For when I did that,

I could not see clear.

While I have always been looking,

Through my own eyes,

I realize now that

The majority of it has all been lies.

Such things as ego,

Self-hatred, pity and doubt,

Have all played a part,

In these lies coming about.

Once this eye-opening experience

First took place,

I was able to look around,

And for once see my abundance of grace.

Grace has made this journey

So much more tolerable.

At the end I will look back,

To see everything has all been worthwhile.

 I will stay positive,

And bask in my light,

That shines from inside me,

Ever so bright.

While I do not know,

What my future has in store,

I have the confidence,

To go out and explore.

Despite my mind,

Wanting to play,

My heart knows this path,

Is where I need to stay.

I once again forge forward,

Head high, and standing up straight.

No matter what I face on this journey,

The overall experience will be great. 

An Unnamed Poem

This poem was written on June 25, 2010. It was three months after I moved out of my mom's house and in with a friend. There were many struggles and hardships, but I was determined to keep a positive attitude. After a challenging couple of months, I was inspired to write this poem. It never got a name. But it is the first poem that I actually wrote that related to my own life. There is a light at the end of every tunnel. One just has to believe; never loose hope.  

As I sit out on the back deck, I am completely at peace;

The birds are chirping and there is a soft rustle of the wind blowing through the leaves on the trees.

The flowers are blooming beautifully in an array of colors including yellow, orange, white and pink;

I am astounded by this amazing place I call home, which allows for the perfect atmosphere where I can think.

It is this night that I am realizing on a deeper level of whom I am supposed to be.           

I am a masterpiece, currently all covered and hid, waiting for the ceremony of my unveiling.

I know that I have so much to offer so I will no longer hide myself from the world.

This is my time to shine ever so bright, and let myself finally be unfurled.

The me of today is so different from the past,

Yet I still have much work to be done before I am a finished task.

Hardships and hurt have caused deep pain, making me hide myself somewhere within.

As I strip the layers one by one, many memories are relived again.

For no matter how hard we try to bury our pain, it always manages to surface at some point in time.

Sometimes it seems easy to push pain aside, but what helps in the long run is to embark this long climb.

No telling how easy or hard it will be, but make the best out of it, and let the healing start.

Better to begin early, than let deeps wounds fester, for soon enough you be a magnificent piece of art.

No longer will I dwell on who others think I should be,

but believe in myself and just dare to be me.

I will not say my life is starting anew,

for my life never ended, I just grew.

I now have a love for myself that I thought I already had, but my journey is not over for it has only begun.

I will embrace all my trials, hardships and hurt, face them head on and no longer run.

I am prepared for this journey, with all the ups and the downs, the twists and the turns.                                       
But ultimately, to love myself better is what my heart yearns.

The sun is now setting, long shadows are cast,

It makes me realize the sun rises for bright futures, and sets on the past.

No longer am I dwelling on what is behind me, for I cannot change those things.

Instead I am focusing on my future and fulfilling my big dreams.

What do I say, and how do I say it?

by no means am i perfect. i went to write a description of myself, and was at a loss as to what to write. how much to share or how little. i was trying to write what i thought others wanted to read or know. this blog isnt about anyone else, this is about me. now is time for self discovery and finding my path in life. everything written before, during and after this post are my own personal reflections.

a first impression

i am starting a blog to post random thoughts and new adventures and lessons learned, as well as other things i deem necessary.

welcome everyone to my blog.