What does that even me ... "that he would love God more than he loves me" ... ?
It isn't something I had put much thought into. It still hasn't been something I've really thought about in great depth. But it is something that rolls around in my mind. Often.
I am referring to relationships and finding a husband. I seek a man so after God's heart that he finds me in this pursuit. I want to be a woman so after God's heart that I meet my husband in it.
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I know God has my husband ready for me. I know that everything is happening. I so want to grab the reigns and take control and make things happen now.
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A year ago I was in the mist of Foster Care licensure. I had been for about 6 months. I was walking on the edge of the water. I was on the verge of something beautiful.
I knew God's promise of "I am going to use your house to further my Kingdom." I knew Foster Care was where I was called in this season. And I pursued God and Foster Care fell into place.
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And back along the edge of the water is where I am again. Waiting is always the hardest part for me. Just as God came through and Foster Care became a thing, so will marriage. As will family. As will finances and friendships.
Let Go. Let God. Let my will be His will. Let my prayers line up with my Heavenly Fathers. Let not my will be done, except as it lines up with the promises Father has spoken into me.
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I pray that my husband does love God more than me. I pray that he first and foremost goes to Abba for answers. I pray that we both continually seek God and take everything to Him first. By doing that, we can grow in the areas of communication, intimacy, and togetherness.
My heart stirs with excitement as I think about this next chapter of my life .. of waiting on my Lord and my God. Of waiting and watching as promises unfold and my hope and faith grow.
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Hope. Hope is the anchor of my soul. [Hebrews 6:19]
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