God's Will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven

What would life look like if I were the only one who influenced my own self? Where would I be if I only had myself to rely on? Who would I be if I were left to fend for myself without the input, advice, discipline and rules that have been set in place that have already had such a huge impact on whom I am today?

Many of us have people in our life who we look up to, who we love, and who we don't want to hurt. We have those people in our lives who have guided us, mentored us, given advice, and have all around been such a blessing to have in our life.

But does there come a point when we get so attached to these lovely people that we fail to here God's call for us? Do we long to keep the circle of friends that we have and let fear of loosing them prevent us from walking the walk that God wants to lead us down? Does our family have such expectations of us that we only make choices that we feel they want us to make instead of asking God if we are following His will for our life?

Yes, there are definitely times when God's Will for our life does involve us keeping our loved ones near, continuing on in our circle of friends, and even making choices that our parents want us to make.

What happens when we feel that God is calling us down a path that we fear will separate us from our friends and tear us apart from our family? How do we answer God's call when it is so contradictory to how we were raised and totally goes against what other people feel is right for us?

It is certainly not easy, and I definitely do not claim to know the answer(s).

And what about those paths we walk down that we look back on and see that God probably did not take us down them, but we instead chose to go down them, or were misguided down them, but God was still awesome and used it to teach us a valuable lesson?

The past 2 years I have walked down a path that I have no idea how to explain. I would say that God did not guide me down it, but at the same time I don't want to say that I was misguided either. And on top of all that, I cannot say that I intentionally chose that path either. So, regardless of how I ended up wandering that path, God used it and has taught me things that I never ever would have thought I would learn.

I remember growing up, my mom would tell me that the choices that I made under her roof were between her, me and God, and that when I grew up and moved out, it would be just between me and God. When I moved out, I was literally lost. There were many decisions that I made and now look back on and wish that I was not so stupid, naive, selfish, stubborn, just to name a few. I also look back on those choices and see that God has used each and every one of them to teach me a lesson. All of these lessons needed to be learned, and I have no idea if, when or how I would have learned them had it not been for all I went through. So, I can say that I would take certain things back, but when I see where I am today, I see just how much all of that has shaped me into whom I am today and seeing that I cannot take back the past, there is no point in wishing for a redo.

Once I moved out of my mom's house, I continued to strive to be everything I thought she wanted me to be. I continue with the practices she taught me. I continue living within the lifestyle that I grew up with. I tried and tried and tried in vain to please her. I did what *I* thought she wanted. That wore me out. I was on my own and my choices were now between me and God. Yet I still felt there was a hold over me. I still felt that I needed to carry on with the practices and traditions and everything of how I was raised. I longed to belong.

Eventually, I gave up. I began doing what I wanted to do, which was practically the complete opposite of how I was raised (okay, probably not t h a t dramatic!).

One thing I could not let go of at first was Catholicism. I wanted to hold on so tight- but not because I felt that that is where I belonged, but because I wanted to let my mom know that I was still practicing. Eventually, I could not do that anymore. I ended up taking a path over the past year and half that took me from a non-denominational church to a Baptist church and back to Catholicism. I took something special and unique from each church and each one had their own way of enriching me on my journey. I received many talks from various people- family and friends- regarding each different church. I heard good things and bad things about them all. It was all in my hands- so to speak. The decision was left to me now.

But it really was not left to me. For I strive every day to surrender my life to God. I strive every day to do the Will of my Father in Heaven. So thus, I began a quest for the truth. I remember asking why we did certain things when I was growing up. The answer: just because. Why do I want to continue with a tradition that is done "just because?" I could not and cannot do that. Just recently I have begun researching. I have been digging for the truth. I have been finding answers to so many questions I had growing up.

This quest is no longer to please anyone. I am not staying Catholic to make anyone happy. I am not staying with a non-denominational church to make anyone happy. I am not staying at a Baptist church to make anyone happy. No. I am on a mission to find exactly where God wants me to be. I have been for seven months. Hence why I found myself at these different churches.

I have a passion to find the truth. I have a hunger and thirst for knowledge. I cannot please everyone. I cannot put someone else's desires and wants above where God is calling me.

I continue to search for the truth. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I have been asking God to reveal the truth to me. I forever want to seek the truth. I knock when I come upon a closed door ... The Lord is working ever so wonderful in my life. I am ever so thankful. God has placed certain people in my life for a reason. He will keep them as long as He wants them in my life. We will go our separate ways when He knows our time together has been fulfilled.


So, wherever you are in life, hand your life over to the Lord. Seek to find the truth. Pray for a hunger and a thirst to be constantly searching and learning. There will be people who are disappointed by choices made; but ultimately, the choices that are made are not to please earthly people, but instead to do God's Will here on earth. Even when it is hard and causes division. For many months I was divided from certain friends and family. Many have since come to accept where the Lord has called me; others, God will continue to work in their hearts and only He knows the future.

“This, then, is how you should pray:
   “‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
   on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
   but deliver us from the evil one.