Just today

Today is just kinda a strange day. Not really sure why. Woke up to a lovely phone call and them started my day. I can always get out of bed rather easily when I have somewhere to be. Just not much of a home-body at this point in my life.

I picked up a tube of black and a tube of white acrylic paints. Just some cheaper type things and have been doing some painting today. Perhaps this is another one of those passing stages that doesn't go anywhere. More art supplies to add to my art studio that is not even in the near future plans. It is just a wanna be. It will probably turn into a nursery before an art studio. Which says much considering that I am not exactly actively seeking any kind of relationship at this point in time.

Since the semester ended 6 weeks ago, I thought I for sure made the Dean's List. They must have changed the requirements from a 3.3 GPA to a 3.5 GPA or I was just wrong all along. Well, quite the disappointment to find out I got a 3.499 GPA. I heard on the radio today about a woman's breakfast coming up in a few weeks and "if you are woman who has ever struggled or are struggling with the feelings of discouragement, not feeling important, and that you cannot do better, then this is the place to be! Come join us and let go of these lies!" And I said "Thank you, Lord, that I feel good enough, important and that I am good enough for you have me where you want me." ... yea. Not even 6 hours later I see the news that I am 0.001% off from making the Dean's List. Those flooding emotions "well, if that isn't discouraging." "Why bother even trying anymore?" and the list goes on.

And sure, it is kinda disappointing and it would be nice to have credentials of the sort in today's society. Yet, it isn't personal gain that I am after in this world. I seek first and foremost the Kingdom of God. And I know that the effort that was put into last semester was not the absolute best that it could have been. So, in this moment, it is not a matter of being sad and depressed about being 0.001% away from being recognized in human eyes. Instead, praise and glory and honor go to God for blessing me with the opportunity to go to college, for blessing me with good enough grades to get my first scholarship (for having good grades, none-the-less), and above all else, the grace to accept this bump in the road with understanding and not falling into the oh-so-horrible trap of the enemy.

My painting today is just a wanna-be grey scale of a heart with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 painted on. And while it is evident that I need some major practice, I am quite pleased with my first attempt at something of this kind. Just like my knitting and all the boxes of knits that I donated or threw away, my art is a work in progress. I remember when I was going thru my many strange things I attempted to knit and throwing many things out, my sister said something about all my things being wasted. I told her that if it wasn't for all those ugly things that have no meaning, I would not be able to knit as I knit now.

Everything in life takes practice. Things on this earth to things in our heart.

Patience, for example. I've been saying lately that I have prolly prayed for more patience in the past 3 days then I have ever before in my life. The reason being? My phone. For some strange reason, my phone just restarts for no obvious apparent reason. It got annoying real fast. Still praying for patience and wisdom and guidance with how to go about making it all better. :P

It just seems like a lot of little things are out to try to upset me. Being human, sometimes they win. But thru the Amazing Grace of God, I may stumble, but never quite fall ... except into the loving embrace of My Heavenly Father. :)