It is that time of year again. Another semester of college has begun. Yet this semester, after only the first day, has been wrought with trial, decisions, and other odds and ends. The latest is that one of my classes may be too far advanced for me. Must learn a little more about Anatomy and Physiology before I attempt to take this class. First goal: talk to my professor in the morning to determine if I stay or drop. I would be content having an extremely light load this semester. The only downside that I can see is that instead of graduating in April/May I would graduate mid-June so I have time to squeeze these missed credits in.

How absolutely relieved I am to know that God has already gone before me. That He knew this would happen. That He already knows what is going to happen. I can talk about what I want, what would be nice, and all that, but ultimately, when left to my own accord, it is nothing but a disaster. I need God. I need to surrender my own wants and desires to do what He wants me to do.

Until next time. :)
-Me!

Thoughts

Resting and icing. Rest some more. Ice some more.
It has been 6 whole days since my last run. I don't like this one bit.
I long to have the road, dirt, gravel underneath my feet!

The saying "You are only one run away from a good mood" is 100% true. My days go SO much better after my morning runs. I eat better, I sleep better, I have so much more energy. These days of no run really, really, really is taking a huge toll on my well-being. This shin-splint needs to heal! I keep thinking it is getting better, then I step the *wrong* way and wham! pain! Perhaps I should be a bit more diligent with keeping my leg wrapped and iced?

I am going to strive harder to get on my bike. I have it on my trainer in the garage, but don't always have the motivation to get on it regularly. I would l o v e to take it to the trail; the only things stopping me? Well, first, it is awfully hard to get it into my car. Second, if there is a flat tire, I am not sure I know the necessary means of repairing it. I would love to ride with someone who is experienced. Just for safety reasons.


This is my last week of summer vacation. I have thoroughly enjoyed my summer. I have loved 4 whole months of no homework. Just dedicating myself to work and building my social life. I have built more solid relationships. I have spent more time just being content with live. More time for God. More time with God. More time discovering and becoming the woman whom God has made. In a way, it is hard to believe that summer has flown by, yet at the same time, I am accepting more and more that time just goes by so very quickly.

With that realization, I want to take the time to appreciate everything, everyone, every moment that I have alone, with God, with people, with things. No taking time with people, places and things for granted. Appreciative. So thankful, grateful, for what I have, whom I have, in my life. <3

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Life atop the Ground

Running. Running. Running. More and more and more. Fast pace. Slow pace. Run. Run. Run. 

What a joy it has been since I started running. While I can only run about .25 miles before I need a walk break, and my pace is 13.41 minutes to a mile, I am a runner. 

On August 5, 2012 I [ran] my first race. I had an incredible team who pushed and pulled, motivated, encouraged, and inspired me. COLOR RUN! Best time yet. 5k in 38 minutes. When I try to run that far on my own, I get it done in 42-46 minutes. 

How utterly blessed I am to have this ability to run. How blessed I am to have people in my life who support me all the way! Sure, there has been some suspicion of a shin splint in the left shin, but after almost 3 days of resting, icing, and light stretching, if all is well come morning, and I can get ut of bed early enough, I am going to attempt a short walk/speed walk/slow jog/run. Taking it slow, but not going to just sit around and loose what I have gained. [I r u n to loose what I've gained!]

My aunt who worked in the cancer clinic had a patient once say to her "A day above ground is a good day."

Indeed. How happy I am to be alive! I just celebrated another birthday- another year older. I was crying tears of joy that night because I am so so so happy and thankful to be alive. There were certainly dark days and weeks and months that occurred before I got to this point. Some days are still harder or better then others. But ultimately, God is good and He has brought me to this place, out of that place and I am thankful.

New Goals

Running ... running ... running ... Running, something I wanted to get into, so I tried. And failed magnificently. So, something I just thought I would never do. I honestly don't know when, or even why, something changed, but something shifted majorly. Here I am, 4 days before my first ever actual race. No big deal, eh? I am so extremely stoked! The more things I get involved in, the more things I apply myself to, the harder I push, the more risks I take, the more excited I get about living life and doing what I do. I haven't even ran this race yet. I haven't even reach 5k on my own runs (which is more like walking with an intermittent jog/run/sprint thrown in there. So as for this weekend's run, it should be relatively simple to finish within 45-50 minutes at most. New goal: Marathon. I need a date, I need a time, I need to commit. Something to work towards. The biggest fear is that this race will come and go, and that motivation to keep running will completely diminish, vanish, disappear. No. Not this time. I am going to continually look for more races. Run. Runn. Running! This time, I began preparing way to close to the actual race. Here I will start without a date in sight and know that one day (it would be great to run a marathon by fall 2012), I will achieve this new found passion and set goal. Determination. Perseverance. Pushing myself further and farther. Intense. God is so good. God has blessed me with the time, the energy, the schedule, the money, the place to run, and so so so much more. How utterly blessed I am.

Just [a] thought(s)

Ugh, SO frustrated [which is also a HUGE understatement]. It hurts so deeply to see a certain individual in dire need of the most love have a back turned on him/her. The ones who say "blood runs thicker then water" are just stepping aside and turning a blind eye, looking away, just being plain mean. In my mind, this situation requires the most love that can be mustered. To love like Jesus! What does it look like to love like Him? First off, who did Jesus spend most of His time with? The Bible gives clear examples of Him being with the lowly, the rejcts, the sinners, the sickly. Basically the ones that no one else wanted to be around. He was often criticized for being around them. Yet He is the Great Physician; "On hearing this, Jesus said to them, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" Mark 2:17 Jesus is here to bring others to HIM! Who am I to judge a person and "see fit" that they aren't worthy of Jesus's love? I long for Jesus to live in me; if this is the case, wouldn't I just naturally be drawn to the sick and needy that others reject? What gets me, is that we are ALL called to love as Christ loves, to allow Jesus to live within us. Yet so often I see pride get in the way and it almost becomes a "I am following Him better then you are so thus I am more like Him and need more of Him then you." Perhaps this is all just my view point, but it saddens my heart so muchly. My continued goal is to continually seek to love as the Lord loves and seek out those who have no one else to love them and shine the light of Christ into their lives. Christ calls them to be His! My brothers and sisters. <3

Oi

Little bits here, little bits there. In some way or another, they all fit somewhere in the grand scheme of life. Revelations, confusions, new things, trying things. Head spinning, sleep much needed. Consistency. Perhaps one day it will all make some sort of sense.

Independence Day 2012

To be me. Just me. More often then not, I find myself in such a deep, contemplative thought. Small talk-what's that? Just cut to the chase and talk about deep theological things. No? My 4th of July has actually been quite amazing. From being woken up with the drumming on a pan lid, to being in the parade, to swimming. Overall with wonderful people. The night isn't over yet ... ending the night with baking cookies. Struggles about where I've been and what has happened in the past several years and the relations that stand as they are within certain perameters.... much hurt but also much peace. My life is great. How blessed I am to live among the free. To BE one of the free.