... Where did the simplicy go?

Simplicity... What part of living a simple life don't I fully understand yet?
It seems like each week I get to a point of complete chaos and confusion and everything is just so very overwhelming. Every week I verbally proclaim that I want to live simply, life a simple life.

Yet here I am again, Sunday evening, and today has just been a chillax kind of day and when I went upstairs to get my basket of laundry to wash, I looked around my room and bathroom. Complete and utter chaos. Things are everywhere. Clothes that have yet to make it to the closet. Blankets spread all over the floor that fell off last night but will not be put back on until tonight only to fall off again and the bed remade at night. I mean seriously ... how hard is it to stay organized? Once I am done with work, I feel great, accomplished, and such. Yet getting to that point of moving .... it can be so hard! It is not even like I have that much stuff? I really only like to keep things that have sentimental value so that means that the amount of trinkets is greatly reduced. So then where is everything coming from? I wish I knew.

I would prefer to make the bed in the morning, but unfortunately I have not succeeded at becoming a morning person. I would love a set schedule of when I clean the bathrooms, when I vacuum, wash laundry, and so on and so forth.

It is like a lose-lose situation when it comes to sleeping. I am so much more productive in the later evenings but I always feel as though the day is wasted when I sleep past 9. But then again, I am almost never in bed before midnight on my nights off, and 2am on my working nights.

I wanted to walk, exercise, do things today. Did that happen? Nope. Why? Just plain and simple: no motivation. Motivating myself is like so not there. I always could just go out and walk by myself, yet I just don't. It wouldn't be half bad to just sit around except that no homework gets done and there is too much junk food around the house. How desperately I would love to cut refined sugars out of my diet as well as all other foods that my body does not need. It would be amazing to get on a healthy eating and exercising schedule.

I just feel as though I am rambling right now. But it feel so good to get what is on the inside, out.

But yes, main goal is to continue to live more and more simple. 

This summer I have a couple big plans. 3 entire months of only work and time to do whatever I want (aka, go where God calls, doing what He tells me to do). I have two things on *my* "to do" list for this summer. And they consist of putting a backsplash up in my kitchen, and painting the entry way. It would also be kind of cool to add to the "must buy" list and get a dresser or 2 for my bedroom. I would love to eventually empty out the back bedroom of all my things and get rid of many more things. It would be lovely to turn that room into an art/study studio. Yet I love my dining room. I love the openness, the lighting, not being shut within a room. Oh but the unorganized-ness of it all is driving me nuts! Papers everywhere. Books everywhere. Things lining the wall. 3 of the 4 chairs have things piled on them. Paper. Paper. Paper. So cannot wait for this semester to be done and over with so I can finally recycle the majority of the unnecessary papers that are all over the place! I would love for everything to have a home. I don't mind a little bit of chaos and confusion (like confined to a "junk drawer"). But seriously, there is so much junk everywhere.

I am ready to step up and be more responsible. When I first moved in, I promised myself that I would keep my bedroom and bathroom clean seeing as I was the only one using it and that I did not have a lot of unnecessary things. For about 8 months I did awesome. Cleaning every 2-3 weeks like clockwork. Now... it is like ridiculous to clean regularly. I clean when needed and not before. It is driving me nuts!! My hope and prayer this summer (actually starting now) is that I can get into a routine. That I can get organized and continue to strive (and actually obtain it) to live a very simple life. Just because I have something, does not mean that I need it, or that I am going to eventually use it.

Oh Lord! Please help me to live for You! Please help me to get rid of everything that keeps me from You!

Why cannot I throw things away easier? I hang onto things thinking that I might need them one day. Not like major things, but just too many things in general. /le sigh.

I am to that point where I would like my house to be more "homey." Nothing has really been done to our house since we've been here for 10 months. It has the same boring paint color, the same neutral color scheme throughout the house. Nothing hanging on the walls. Nothing to personalize it. No "woman's touch" whatsoever. Just one day at a time. I am ready to put some picture up on the walls. I am ready for some different paint colors. I am ready to have fun! I was talking with my dad last night and I told him that I haven't done anything yet because I am afraid of making mistakes and having to redo things and that I want to do things that he likes and whatnot. After exploring Lowe's and getting ideas of what we both like, it sounds like we are pretty much on the same page for likes/dislikes. Also, he said that I can do what I would like and that I don't have to be afraid. So, house remodeling .... here I come! I am so excited! So, I have limited myself to just two projects this summer. If we get more done, great! But seeing as I will be balancing between work and social life, I just want to start small ... also considering that I've never taken a kitchen apart or tiled before! But it will be great!

So, that's what's up tonight.