This past week has been so amazing, so beautiful, so humbling, so surreal. This past week brought people into my life who inspire me, encourage me, strengthen me, love me, respect me, and sometimes even annoy me and so so so much more. As I reflect on this past week, I am just amazed at the sequence of events. I am awe-struck at how God planned everything and how things worked out so very perfectly that no human can even try to take credit for the outcome.
There were certainly highs, and there were certainly lows. Just in the few hours that I have been home, I feel as though I am getting stuck on the lows without acknowledging the highs. Once again there are feelings that I should have, could have, would have, done things differently. But then I realize that everything worked out exactly as God saw fit. Had things happened any differently, there may not have been such tremendous inner, spiritual growth.
As I am home from Florida, the green grass has been replaced with brown dry grass and the warm, sweet, breezes have been replaced with chilly winds. The sun shines though. The air holds the sweet odor of spring on its way. Now that we turned the clocks forward, and it stays sunny out longer, spring feels all the closer. Soon the trees will be bearing new leaves and there will be flowers poking up thru the soil (or in my case they have been trying that since the end of January). Spring is a time for new growth, new beginnings, fresh starts. How blessed I am that I can say Spring Break 2012 has been a huge learning experience for me and it is time for new growth and new beginnings in my life. I hope and pray that this past week has been life changing for me and that with God's grace I can live out the life He has planned for me each and every new day.
Sometimes I feel as though I need all these profound words. Sometimes I feel that I need to explain every single situation in great detail. Sometimes I feel as though what I am saying is too simple.
One of the best things that happened to me this week didn't even happen in Florida. It happened somewhere between Chattanooga and Nashville on the way back home. I don't even remember where or when or how it even happened. I was being co-pilot. First time of riding shotgun all week. The entire van was just talking and then our driver said something which sparked an almost 2 hour long conversation between him and me while our van listened ever so quietly and patiently. All week I had been feeling like I was floating out in limbo spiritually. I was having a hard time relating to people and I did not know how to reach out to people. There was a huge burden on my chest and as much as I longed to seek advice and find answers or even just some truth to grab onto and cling to so that I could continue with building a solid foundation. After what seemed like a hectic, chaotic conversation in which I wasn't feeling a bit better at all, all of a sudden it was made clear to me by God thru my friend, my van driver, that God is Love. Simple. Truth. Straight forward. It was exactly what we had been covering all week in small groups from our packet as well as reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. But all week it didn't make since. My head has always known this, but for the first time in a long time, or maybe even for the first time ever, it hit me right in between the eyes. It landed right on my heart... God is Love. That simple. Peace flooded my heart, my soul and my mind. There was no longer a constant fight trying to find answers, trying to find a place to stand. I know God. God is love. God sent His Son Jesus to die on the Cross for my sins. That is the greatest of all examples of Love.
All throughout the week, there were many, many examples of God's love surrounding me. God was and is ever so present in this group of people. From the late night conversations, the hugs, the tears, the laughter, the sisters and brothers in Christ who were by my side the entire week, the seeing God's creation by going to the beaches and kayaking down the river and seeing wildlife, to singing praise and worship in the bus, the quiet walk down the beach crying out to God, the moments alone, the moments with new people who fan my flame for Christ, to just every single small moment, the fellowship, the new friends, the sessions, the small groups, the sunshine and so so so much more! This has most certainly been one of the best weeks of my life yet. I am so very thankful that God has blessed me with this opportunity to fellowship with fellow believers who love me and respect me, and accept me and only want what God wants for me. I don't always have to have it together. I don't always need to be smiling. I don't always, or ever, need to pretend to be someone or something I am not. I am loved for being me; for being the daughter of God that I am.
I pray for all of my new and old friends, for fellow brothers and sisters that I did not get the chance to meet and connect with. I pray that God draws you near and dear to Him and that He continues to bless you all for being such a blessing to others around you. I am honored that I had the privilege of coming on Spring Break 2012 with all of you. My life will never be the same. :)
Hillsong "From the Inside Out"
A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
My Soul cries out to You
My Soul cries out to You
to You, to You
My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out.
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
My Soul cries out to You
My Soul cries out to You
to You, to You
My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out
From the inside out, O my soul cries out.
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